Social Experiment

My neighbor Ray lives in the group home next door and throws his full weight into his occupation. And by that, I mean that he is a real nose to the grindstone kind of guy who makes a full time job out of smoking cigarettes. I met him a couple of years ago when I moved into the building and he told me that he used to do street drugs, it messed him up, but he doesn’t do street drugs anymore. He was actually pretty lucid compared to the near catatonic figure that I see behind the gate nowadays. I used to wave when I would pull in the driveway on my bike, but he didn’t respond a couple of times when he was looking right at me, so I ceased that. It probably wasn’t anything personal, he is just kind of catatonic like that for the most part.

He started trying to borrow money from me one day when I could see the desperate need for nicotine written all over his face. I decided to conduct a social experiment and gave him a dollar which he didn’t seem all that grateful about. As much progress as the dollar would give him towards some generics, it wouldn’t buy him the whole pack. I told him he could pay me back when he got some money. It wasn’t long before I was again pulling into the driveway and I could see Ray shuffling in my direction. It’s not hard to figure out what he wants when he can be bothered to get up and attempt to get in my personal space. I took a step back while he asked me for some money. I reminded him that he was still delinquent on that last loan of one US dollar. He looked all crest fallen and whipped because he knew that his failure to pay back the loan just doused his dream of a shiny new pack of cigarettes. It took a couple more times for the concept to register. He stopped asking me for money and evens waves back on occasion now.

Any Good Butts Today?

I feel like putting this question to my neighbor every time I see him out, but I just can’t manage to be that large of an asshole when the moment comes. I live next door to a group home type of operation this cat named Keith runs, and he gets paid to house 3-4 individuals through a government program.

I see this one shell shocked lost soul wandering out from behind the gate where they sit on chairs and smoke cigarettes all day. Opportunistic folks scan the horizon for possibilities while this guy searches the sidewalk and gutters for cigarette butts.

If I thought he was at all capable of communicating I might ask him about his take for the day. I will have to just imagine the conversation since it is likely to never happen.

“Oh yes, big haul today. I found a Marlboro light with a full inch on it and a lipstick stain. I found a generic full flavor with 2, maybe 3 good puffs on it and some spittle on the tip. The big money was cleaning out the ashtray at Kaiser hospital across the street, however. There I found a barely smoked Salem with a filter soaked in tubercular sputum. Top notch after dinner mint.“

As much fun as it is to make fun of others for suffering under the weight of a crushing addiction, I somehow manage to restrain myself. I feel a little bit bad for him actually, but that is usually in response to the urge to make some smartass remark.

Motorcycle Moments

I was riding on California Street on the hills above the Financial District. I crested the hill at the same time that a cable car made it to the top. There was a group of kids on the back, all around ten years or so. They saw me coming up from behind and they all got excited and were shouting amongst each other and at me. I realized that I was the source of their excitement so I threw a fist up for their benefit as I came up fast from behind and overtook the car on the right. I had a pair of dirt biking gloves on that were given to me by my brother and were rather rock starish in appearance. The kids went nuts and one kid screamed “YOU RULE!” as I passed. That was good fun.

comin' thru

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Hated Phrases

Look at these babies.
Take a look at these bad boys.
Check out these puppies.

(im)pure love